A friend of mine shared the below quote on Facebook recently. It really hit a chord with me. Literally, the words made sense to me right away. I knew what the author was saying. What it meant for me in practice, well that took a few days, some journaling, and a lot of time pondering time.
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
I’m a fan of goal-setting. Been doing it for many years. Looking back at old goals worksheets, I see two things: successes and failures. About a 20-80 ratio. Damn you Pareto Principle. Even showing up in my goals aren’t you? And not in the contrast you’re meant to be seen as: the 80 to 20 rule.
Reflecting upon previous goals sheets, I remember periods of time where it would be 5 steps forward, 1 step back. Then 4 steps ahead, 2 behind. Followed by 3 onwards, 3 backwards. You get the point. And it doesn’t take a math prodigy to figure it out. I would end up back where I started. The beginning. Did I accomplish things along the way? Yeah, I did. And for those I am grateful. But so often, I lost momentum. The motivation waned. The discipline dwindled away. And all of sudden that goal I wanted so badly, lost all importance to me. Until perhaps the next time I set some goals for myself. Which was often. There are things on goals lists I have from over 10 years ago that I would still put on a worksheet now.
So the quote from above got me thinking – am I doing this all bass-ackwards?
Here’s an example. My job duties are transitioning from being more computer-based and less on-site. I do a fair bit of my work from home now. The other day I needed a pen. Not just any pen, I needed my green one. I went to my desk to get it but it wasn’t there. I had about 40 pens in there, mostly blue or black. But not one darned green one. It ticked me off I’ll admit. Something I shouldn’t have put any energy into I know. But I did. How could I have THIS many pens and not one green one? Well it wasn’t that I didn’t have a green one. It was that I couldn’t find it. Turned out it was in my laptop bag. Go figure.
So yesterday I spent a few hours reorganizing my work spaces at home. I pulled everything out, made piles of things that went together, sorted out papers and files from personal and work-related, and so on. I hadn’t intentionally set it out as a “goal” for the day. I wasn’t trying to be something in particular (efficient and productive). I wasn’t trying to accomplish an objective (organized work spaces). I was attempting to un-be something: uncluttered.
The quote came back to me as I was tidying and cleaning my desk. I thought long and hard about it yesterday. I had already planned to do some goals work this month anyway, and even bought a guided journal to assist me on this go around. Maybe, just maybe, doing it this time needs to have a different approach? Perhaps I should look at the kind of person I desire to un-be first? The behaviours I want to start un-doing? The cognitive distortions and biases I long to un-have?
I don’t have the answers to those questions. Yet. But I will. I will set out to take note of the things I do, think, and feel and ask myself – is this something that serves me a purpose? Is it healthy for me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Am I being the type of person I want to un-become?
Hmmm. Deep philosophical questions there for sure. But I am going to put them at the forefront of my mind and take notes for the next month or so. I’ll get back to you with more thoughts along my un-coming journey. Until then, I’ll leave you with another quote …
“The path of awakening is not about becoming who you are.
Rather it is about unbecoming who you are not.”
Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Peace Prize winner (1952)
Picture credit: Tara Winstead, Pexels
Their Words. My Musings. 
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